


Devotion

by DragonRage



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Dragon Age Kink Meme, F/M, Het, Tranquil Hawke, Tranquil Mages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonRage/pseuds/DragonRage
Summary: Sebastian made a vow to love Hawke until they both joined the Maker, and Tranquility doesn't change that.





	Devotion

Walking into the lavish residence of his childhood home Sebastian was greeted by the woman that he had sworn eternal devotion to; an amazing woman who was intelligent, kind, and caring.

A woman who had been made tranquil against her will.

“How are you today, love?” It was a near constant question, but he could never stop from asking for just the slightest bit of reassurance.

“I am… doing well. Do you need me to help you with anything?” The reply was stilted and felt leaden even though it was accompanied by the facsimile of a smile.

Marian would always just give him that mechanical gesture now – an artificial reaction rather than one born of genuine emotion.

The tone (or rather the lack of it) was grating enough on his nerves. It never failed to awaken the weakness within him; that pettiness that made him want to shake the living shell that had once housed the person he had wanted to spend his life with. Those thoughts were not only useless, they were unworthy of both himself and his love – she deserved his understanding now more than ever.

In fact the mimicry of past emotions and their old habits seemed to be some way of her comforting him. She would run her fingers through his hair, tug at his clothes gently to adjust them before he went out, and kiss him on the cheek every time they parted.

This of course only managed to unsettle him more. He had to keep reminding himself that she knew him, she remembered him, but she could no longer feel what she once did. Those emotions had been plucked from her. His Hawke had her wings clipped and the sky stolen from her eyes.

Sebastian could tell she was still trying her best, still trying to be a good person despite the circumstances; it only served to increase his own guilt. Why else would Marian persist in her actions despite her tranquility if not?

Sometimes he would swear that he saw a flash of her former self emerge. He would dream of the sight of her cheeky grin lighting up, the spark returning to her eyes, and the flush of color on her cheeks once again.

It was easy for him to blame nearly every single able bodied person within the city limits of Kirkwall for this travesty, but mostly he blamed himself. He had been unable to prevent this, so now he had to try to make the best of it, if only for Marian’s sake. Sebastian always tried his best to speak to her like all was as it had been before, hoping to reach the part of her that might still be in there.

Marian seemed to understand that though he was looking at her he was quickly getting lost in his own thoughts again, and tried to bring him to the present. She reached out and grabbed his hands gently, holding them with her own in an act of comfort and smiled even more widely as she spoke.

“I will always be by your side.” The monotone voice always said the same thing yet it managed to find a new way to break his heart each time.

Sebastian renewed his vows mentally as he gave her a quick, chaste kiss to the top of her head; one of the few types of physical affection he allowed himself now.

“I swear I will not abandon you. I swore to be by your side until the day we arrived at the Maker’s.”

That is what he had promised before, and that was the promise he would hold himself to now. Even if he had to stop himself from looking enviously at other couples now, had to quickly temper any dash of desire from interfering with his commitment to her. He hated himself even more at having these wretched thoughts. He would not betray her when she needed him most, and he was certain that if he gave in that is exactly what he would be doing. He was certain she would claim to understand and forgive him, but that was no excuse. The temptations of the flesh that were there haunted him as much as the memories of sweeter things; of her laughing and being joyous.

This beautiful woman was a pale shadow of her previous self, but this was still her. Their bond was still there, and he refused to forsake her. He would continue to work to make sure she had every convenience and every chance at recovery that he that could ensure.

This is why he couldn’t allow himself to break down. He had to be there for her, and for the cause she had fought so desperately for. He now felt that he had a responsibility to keep any other lovers from experiencing the same fate – to prevent the same from happening to the innocents in his homeland. The Free Marches were supposed to be for the _free_.

Sebastian didn’t know if this could be called the Maker’s will. He knew only one thing anymore. The Templars of Kirkwall would pay dearly for defiling the one good thing he had left in this world.

**Author's Note:**

> Have been unable to write for a few years due to illness, so attempting some fills for the DA Kink Meme to get back into the swing of things.


End file.
